Never Trust An Ocelot to Parallel Park
George Hrab
July 9, 2023
George Hrab is a musician and podcaster. His presentation was aptly titled “Never Trust an Ocelot to Parallel Park.” Certainly a subject that’s been getting a lot discussion lately. But he called this a “brain sorbet” – a sequence of discrete word things (in which “jury tampering” came up with bizarre frequency):
- The “misconception song.” What you think you know is often wrong; containing numerous examples of common things like Edison inventing the light bulb (actually, he merely improved it).
- The “Who” thing. Referring to the band; particularly the line in one song saying “I hope I die before I get old.” Sung by Roger Daltrey at 21. Hrab wondered what he was thinking then – and when he still was singing the song at 73.
- A long parody of the Biblical “begats,” filled with very very silly names.
- “Picky eater.” Focusing on the meaning of the word “savory.” (Don’t ask). Hrab was a “lugubriously finicky” eater as a kid, hating everything.
- “Too many crosses” – detailing all the varieties of crucifixion practiced by the Romans, opining that Easter is the lamest of holidays, and ending up, somehow, at Valentine’s Day.
- Poetry is easy. (This was introduced with a nod to irony.) Particularly easy is non-rhyming poetry, one of four poetry categories Hrab posited. The last category was Limericks, which usually end with a reference to genitalia (such as a word rhyming with Limerick).
- Starting with reference to a CD purchased from Amazon, Hrab kind of rehearsed his own history with music, with particular emphasis on “West Side Story.”
- “I am Molar Ram.” At least that’s what it sounded like Hrab said, he was talking fast. This was about his experience re-viewing “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” deeming it the best of all prequels, explaining how Jones is the way he is. But viewing it for an umpteenth time, Hrab broke down bawling. Because he’s full of unrealized love, and it’s killing him. So what does he do? Shtick like he did here. His whole life. Avoiding rejection – “the real me is unnervingly unworthy of love.” Yet he nevertheless feels “unmitigated exultation at the possibilities of existence.”
Don’t we all?